Is this the way my map is drawn?
Yesterday after dropping Gabby off, I found myself driving around to no where.
I had places I needed to go but for some reason I continued to drive. The sun was out and I was in a good mood since I had just spent time with Gabby and all. I needed to think. I needed air. I also needed to go piss but I continued my drive and I kept flipping through radio stations.
The radio is hard for me when I’m sad because sometimes when I’m at a light, I start to tear up * thank God for gangsta rap.., I hear a song that reminds me of happiness or a car ride with him and I start to think optimistcally. So yesterday here I am trying to go through the mental notes I’ve been taking over the past week and trying to find how to say it to him.
I took a deep breath and I thought about how I’m down to a text or an IM with him. Can someone please explain? The last kiss, it felt good. He..he felt good. I was starting to be me and I think he accepted that...
After a week of not speaking to him, I pull over and call him. He ended up calling back but it seems we sat in silence for a bit. I spit out "I miss you..this has been hard." but that got me no where.
It’s a dead end, the romantic part of us.. he says
That’s harsh.
Maybe because he is intelligent, I was expecting bigger words. Maybe because I feel I go places in life, the words "dead end" don’t exist in my vocabulary. Or maybe because in real life when I see the sign Dead End, I usually turn around and figure out a way to get to where I’m going. There’s always a way around the round-a-bout. Head north and turn cold -friendship over, Head south- and stay heated, my heart has been south since the first day I kissed him. Is this real? Is this the way the map of my heart is drawn?
*my heart taking a stop at this conveniant store........
Hi Mr.Habib,I don’t need a hotdog and a cold drink to go with my Rum in the car but I think I do need directions. I saw this Dead End sign and I’m trying to return to this place. This place wasn’t like heaven. It smelled of day old coffee and outdated Adobo. But there was this guy there, he’s about 5’8 or so and he has this nice ass like a baseball player. Our friendship used to make me smile and he brought out this passion in me that I didn’t know existed. How do I get back to that road?
Conveniant store worker: Bitch, you break you buy..We don’t have new hearts here...you wanna feel passion again? Drink a 40...I feel sorry for your mudder............
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