If you could take a class right now and learn anything in the world, what class would you take?

A Spanish class. My Spanish sucks ass big time.

 
Am experiencing pubic growth and would have liked to have engaged in crotch scratching.
Worked 9 hours.
Wore shorts with heels.
Enjoyed a picnic in the park.
Enjoyed brie that wasn't stolen.
Was blinded by a very bright yellow shirt.
Gave advice to a friend.
Received advice that I should stop playing hard to get so that I don't become one of those people who needs to get laid but instead become real bitchy.
Received a phone call from a friend.
Received a pix-text of my friends newborn baby.
Only sent 5 text messages.
Saw my future husband at a bus stop.
Saw my future baby's daddy while I was walking to my bus stop.
Ran at the gym and did a ton of squats.
Saw my future ex-husband at the gym.
Saw a disgusting toiletin the gym.
Over heard funny conversation in the locker room and thought to myself..that sounds like my life....
Bought Gabby a Happy Meal.
Watched Gabby poop in a toilet.
Made chili with cornbread.
Sent my friend an email.
Logged on to Facebook.
Wondered what's going on in the UK.
Told myself tomorrow is a new day.
Thought about what I want in a guy and wondered do I want someone who finishes my sentences,cuts me off mid-sentence or someone who can't form proper sentences..
Discovered I may not have enough coffee for the morning.

Love:

Sunshine
My strength
Gabby when she poops in the toilet
My parents
The fact that when I tried to convince my brother that we should do Disneyland next year, he convinced me Maui would be better.

Loathe:

That my ankle is swollen
The cuban beans I ate made me fart all day
Not knowing all the answers
Love....

July is national ice cream month! What's your favorite flavor?
Submitted by LittleWiseOne.

Chocolate chip mint

Jamoca Almond Fudge

Neopolitan ice cream sandwiches

Gelatos- all flavors

When is it National Cake month?????????

What was the best thing about your weekend?

Friday I was supposed to watch a movie and had one glass of red wine and ended up drunk, so no movie just more wine.

Saturday morning I went hiking. As I was peeing in the forest and my friend was covering me,my pee was splashing on their ankle.

Saturday night...how can I sum it up in as few words as possible..I can tell you it involved Patron, desserts,a six foot penis, cigarettes and a guy asking me if "I've ever done it Mexican Style"....

Sunday: Gabby time!

I'm sitting at my desk, minding my own-jamming to some tunes on the iPod, then my co-worker walks up to me and is like "I'm not wearing a bra today..."

2 things come to mind.

1. Is that supposed to have the same effect as when I say, "I'm commando right now"

2. Isn't there a policy at our company that bra's must be worn?

And bonus thought #3- are you flat enough to truly be going bra-less and not have people know? She swears it the "new thing" to be going bra-less and I'm thinking maybe in Hollywood, honey- not in Seattle....

So as I'm laughing my ass off and wondering why this information was just shared with me and if she's suffering from under titty sweat, I email my friend to spread this funny Victoria Secret.

Then he sends me this:

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

For the video game, see Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando.

Going commando (or to go commando or "free balling") is the practice of not wearing underwear under one's outer clothing. The phrase and phenomenon is often used in a declaratory way ("I'm goin' commando!"), particularly by women to covertly create a frisson of sexual excitement or amusement amongst friends, sexual partners, future sexual partners, etc. Modern Western social mores generally recognise "going commando" as a "playful" behavior (akin to a mild form of exhibitionism).^{[citation needed]}

Going without underwear is said to have certain benefits. Dr. Caroline F. Pukall of Queens University states that going without underwear while sleeping can have significant benefits to the vulva.^[1]

In Chile, the act of not wearing underwear has been called "andar a lo gringo" ("to go gringo-style") for decades.^[2][3]

In BDSM, going commando is often required by a Dominant as means of concentrating the submissive's or slave's mind on his or her condition. For instance, 'I went commando for the weekend because Master required it". There are many opportunities for anxiety, for embarrassment, and for humiliation for the sub, especially females. Her body is instantly accessible at the lift of the skirt, or something may be revealed by accident, especially if the skirt is very short. In the BDSM novel, Story of O, O is required to be without underwear and in a dress at all times.^[4]

Slate's Daniel Engber dates the modern usage to 1974 college campuses, where it was perhaps an outgrowth of the Vietnam War.^[5]

The origins of the phrase are uncertain, with some speculating that it may refer to being "out in the open" or "ready for action." According to Engber many soldiers do go without underwear to "increase ventilation and reduce moisture." The earliest known use of the term in print is January 22, 1985 when Jim Spencer wrote in the Chicago Tribune:

"Furthermore, colored briefs are 'sleazy' and going without underwear ('going commando', as they say on campus) is simply gross".

The expression was used on the television sitcom "Friends":

"Joey: It's a rented tux, Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues."^[6]

                      Upskirt

                      True Scotsman

1.     ^ Pulkall, Carolyn F, PhD. "Vulvar Health Hints". Queen's University. Retrieved on 2006-12-23.

2.     ^ "Juran que a Jennifer López le gusta andar a lo gringo: Sin chitecos". La Cuarta (December 11, 2006). Retrieved on 2007-01-13.

3.     ^ Brennan, John. "How to survive the Chilean jungle" (2nd ed.). "Dolmen Ediciones, Santiago, Chile". 

4.     ^ Entry in the BDSM Dictionary Accessed 4 July 2008.

5.     ^ Engber, Daniel (January 10, 2005). "Do Commandos Go Commando?". Slate Magazine. Retrieved on 2006-12-23.

6.     ^ http://www.friends-tv.org/zz302.html

                   The Freeballers Forum- The Art and Science of going underwearless

                   Beatnik Turtle's Song "Going Commando"

                   ""We're About To Go Commando--Welcome To The Yongle" on My Errant Mind". Retrieved on 2007-01-16.

When a phone rings at 1am and the ring tone is "Poison" by Bel, Biv, Devoe...is that or is that not a booty call?
Can you help me?????

A weeks ago my brother calls me up like fiddy times wondering if he left his sweater at my house. I told him, no...didn't see it. Then a few days go by and he calls again asking for the sweater. I told him still no sign of his sweater. He explains that it is his favorite sweater and that he wouldn't usually misplace something. I'm like well, I used to think my shit don't stank and I was once little miss perfect until I hit 30 and then I started forgetting shit. .

But he insisted that "No...really this is my favorite sweater....I can't find it.."

Not to be mean, but at the time, you know it was March and that wasn't a good month for me. I slammed the phone and thought" get a fucking life and realize there are important things out there than your fucking sweater...."

Then to top it off, my mom tells me my brother is losing sleep over the sweater. For some reason, I cringed and was like wtf- I'm losing sleep and crying every night because I'm broken hearted and we're still on this sweater issue???????

I'm not saying my problems are more important than his, but I am saying that some things are not worth losing sleep over. Eh- some people may say my problems aren't worth losing sleep over either.But a fucking sweater???Seriously???

..................................................................

So last week- my brother calls me up again and was like hey when you have a minute, I wanted to talk to you about something. I'm thinking ok great- he's going to tell me that my mom still thinks I have a boyfriend in Vegas or that he bought a cat or something. But no. My phone rings and it's him. Shouldn't have answered...

He starts to tell me how he organized his closet and that he when he put things away, he knew exactly how many pairs of jeans he stacked up and etc.Now- one of his jeans are missing. He's like going off on me and shit like I'm gonna have the answers for him.

I told him unless you misplaced it, someone must have took it. You have ton of heads in your house...so maybe someone is fucking with you. Then he continues to go off and is telling me how he is obsessive compulsive about his shit, everything must be put into a certain place-he's not going crazy and he swears the jeans were there.

I'm not sure what explanation he wants me to have exactly. I was in the middle of shopping and here I am feeling enclosed all of sudden, anxiety setting in because of some fucking bullshit pair of jeans and my brother insisting he's not going crazy.

Am I going crazy?

Are you seriously calling me to find answers to why your jeans are no mas aqui? I tried to put myself in his shoes. What if I couldn't find my Seven jeans? Would I cry? Yes because dat shit is expensive and when you live alone, and your living space is 500 square feet and you can't find something-then yes you are going crazy or your invisible friend took it.

But when you got like 8 people in your fucking house and I'm not trying to point fingers or anything- I just think someone has got to be fucking around...

Or...

Wait up....

Bushwick Bill??? Is dat you?

At night I cant sleep, I toss and turn
Candle sticks in the dark, visions of my favorite sweater being burned
Four walls just staring at a nigga
Im paranoid, sleeping with my finger on the trigger
My mothers always stressing I aint living right
But I know I put my jeans here the other night.
See, everytime my eyes close
I start sweatin, and I grow green bugars in my nose
Its somebody watchin the ak
But I dont know who it is, so Im always wiping my ass
I can see him when Im deep in the covers
When I awake I dont see the motherfucker
He owns a black hamster like I own
A black suit and a cane like my own
Some might say take a chill, b
But fuck that shit, theres a nigga trying to steal muh jeans.
Im pumping my hair spray when the wind blows
Every twenty seconds got me peeping out my window
Investigating the joint for traps
Checking my pubes for crabs
Im staring at the woman on the corner, is dat bitch rockin my jeans?
Its fucked up when your mind is playing tricks on you

What do you find interesting or unique about your family history?

My great grandmother was a chef,my grandmother was a cook and I wanted to be a chef. You don't think cooking was in our blood,do you?

You must be "in the know" of where Kristina has dined lately.

Why? Because introducing new foods and flavors is always a positive thing and it makes for interesting shit in your toilet. 

Well I did happy hour at Karma Martini Lounge. Wonderful atmosphere..

Then enjoyed Brazillian food at Ipanema. The scallops were delicious!!!!!!! but they have a buffet for 39.99. Dammit thats more than a Vegas buffet...are they crazy?

Highlight of the week:

Brasa.

There I enjoyed a wonderful glass of red wine, grilled asparagus with prosciutto, lamb chops and a BOMB ass strawberry shortcake with goat cheese cream.

No wonder I'm bloated on a Tuesday......